John McCain's "American Solutions for America" Wells!

Having convinced American's that selling more leases for offshore drilling will solve the energy crisis (even though there are no rigs to do said drilling and the oil companies already HAVE existing contracts that they've not explored and any meager price reductions will be fleeting and not materialize for close to a decade) John McCain is stepping up efforts to make the most of his issue advantage by rolling out a platform that suggest offshore drilling as the solution to EVERY American problem this election cycle.

Faced with obvious skepticism regarding this claim, the McCain camp quickly released the below map, showing the actual location of all his "American Solutions for America Wells"...

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UPDATE: In case anyone from the Obama camp wanders into this here saloon, may I humbly suggest THIS is the way out of the idiotic "drilling debate."

John McCain is offering fantasy oil, and you need to mock the ever-loving shit out of him for it. The above map as a "pop up" commercial should do the trick nicely.