x-posted from TexasKaos, where we're taking Texas back!
This picture, taken by Mike Segar/Reuters, comes from today's news conference held by the Rutgers University Women's Basketball Team. Take a good, close look at the faces in that picture. You'd think that they would be all smiles, having recently won a (my apologies! thanks bob for the correction) competed for a National Championship.
Instead, they sit stern-faced and sullen. Why? Because last week, radio and tv host Don Imus branded the women "nappy headed hos".
This isn't the first time that Imus has crossed the line. He's previously called Hillary Clinton a "bitch" and Barack Obama a "young colored fellah" who has a "Jew-hating name". When speaking of Latino New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, Imus said of Bill, "Besa Mi Culo, Gordo" (loosely translated to "Kiss my ass, fatty"). Last Friday, in an extremely weak attempt at humor, the following quote was broadcasted on Imus's show in regards to Obama's Q1 haul: "Well, Senator Obama is obviously generating some serious cash flow in a non-traditional way ... he's selling crack. Or he's pimping. Which, I guess is pretty much the same thing euphemistically speaking. I mean, I don't want to start rumors but the money had to come from somewhere..." Imus's own producer, Bernard McGuirk, called the ladies basketball final a battle of the "Jigaboos vs. the Wannabees".
These are just a few examples of the utterly insensitive and tasteless remarks spewed by Imus over the years.
So when his latest comment about the "nappy-headed hos" set off a media firestorm, I couldn't help but wonder why it took so damned long.
Don Imus has been getting away with much worse than this for decades. Back in the 70s, the rise of the "shock jock" occurred - not coincidentally I'm sure - in parallel to the rise of feminism. It was not unusual for listeners to tune in to talk radio and hear sexist and racist jokes on the airwaves. For this new breed of radio host, pushing the envelope of taste and civility was the order of the day. In the so-called shock jock, the angry white man had found a kindred spirit. And in the 80s, the social climate practically encouraged a backlash against women and minorities. After all, it was the Reagan era, and screwing minorities and women was a large part of the agenda.
The 80s gave way to the 90s, "political correctness", and "sensitive ponytail men". Those angry white men - hungry for an outlet to vent their rage during an era where traditional, rugged masculinity seemed less desirable - flocked to the likes of Howard Stern, Don Imus, and Rush Limbaugh. Listening to Rush bash the "political correctness police" or Stern make boobie jokes about his porn-star guests was a daily release for the angry white man.
Fast forward to today, and the same behavior that made Imus famous may now get him shit-canned. So what has changed?
Well, everything except the Imuses of the world. And to be frank, I don't think they're ever going to change. Men like that are very set in their ways and sometimes they can't help but be insensitive jerks. It's second nature for them. And I understand it, because my father is one of those guys.
Like Imus, my father is in his late sixties. In fact, their birth dates are separated by a mere nine months. Like Imus, my father was raised in an era where spewing epithets like "nigger" or "spic" was not only accepted, but encouraged. He came of age in the 50s, during the Golden Era of Traditional American Values and Manly Men (or as you may know it, the GOP's little fantasy world). Men like my father were socialised to believe that they were mentally and physically superior to women and minorities.
During his lifetime, my father has seen a lot of things change. He's seen desegregation, the rise of feminism, and seismic societal shifts which, as a person, he just couldn't keep up with. His early socialisation still informs his personality and worldview, and sixty year old habits are hard to break.
Once when I was in high school, my father told me that if I ever brought a black friend home, he'd shoot them. Was he kidding? To this day I'm still not sure, but I'll also add that the first thing he said to my husband upon meeting him was, "I'm so glad you're white."
Are these things racist? Absolutely. Would my dad see those incidents as examples of racist behavior? Probably not. I know him well enough to know he'd claim the Imus Defense, saying he was kidding about shooting my friends. And he wouldn't give it a second thought. He wouldn't even comprehend that something he thought was very funny could be very offensive to others (why did Kinky Friedman just pop into my head?).
He simply wasn't socialised to have a sensitivity gene. After all, back in the Golden Era of Traditional Values and Manly Men, there was no need for one.
I strongly suspect that Imus suffers similarly. He's an old white dude who was raised in a different era, and society has changed much faster than he has.
Now let me be clear. I am in no way excusing Imus's racist and sexist speech. I am simply saying that I think I understand where it comes from based on experiences with my old man and others his age. And yes, I know I'm speaking in broad generalisations, but I've only met a few men in my father's generation who buck the stereotype.
Imus has thrown out tons of excuses for his behavior, but I believe he's reaping what he's sown. Imus will point to his ranch and say that because he helps kids with cancer, that he has a good heart. He may very well have a good heart underneath that crusty exterior. But having a good heart doesn't mean that heart is free of prejudice.
My father would also say he has a good heart. Although we clashed mightily during my youth, he now regularly lavishes me with praise. He is kind to my husband, and my father's voice swells with pride when he talks about my marriage. But every once in a while, the angry white man emerges and he throws out an epithet.
But I don't give my father a pass on that behavior anymore, and Imus doesn't deserve it either. When I was young, I didn't know how to rebut my father's racism and sexism, and in fact I had to work very, very hard for many years to undo the behaviors I learned from him. When my dad tosses out one of those words, I call him on it. Most of the time he doesn't even realise he's being hurtful. But if we allow stuff like that to pass, then we become enablers.
In fact, calling Imus a "shock jock" gives him a pass on this incident. "Shock jocks" are expected to be tasteless assholes who makes jokes at the expense of minority groups. I'd prefer to think of Imus like I think of my dad: a product of another era who just hasn't unlearned all the bad behavior he learned as a youth.
So the question becomes, is Imus capable of learning? Honestly, I'm not sure. The defensiveness he displayed on Sharpton's radio show seems to indicate that he doesn't even understand how he could have hurt anyone's feelings:
IMUS: "Don't talk about me doing used car commercials. I'll bet you I've slept in a house with more black children who were not related to me than you have. Do not get into my face about this...why don't you show up here in person."
Ah yes, the old "meet me at the playground after class" line. It's the same shit my dad does when he gets called on his racism. Guys like that, they're incapable of fathoming that they could possibly have hurt anyone's feelings. Listen to what those women had to say at today's press conference:
"I would like to express our team's great hurt, anger and disgust toward the words of Mr. Don Imus," Carson said. "We are highly angered at his remarks but deeply saddened with the racial characterization they entailed."
"Our moment was taken away -- our moment to celebrate our success, our moment to realize how far we had come, both on and off the court, as young women," said sophomore forward Heather Zurich. "We were stripped of this moment by degrading comments made by Mr. Imus last Wednesday. What hurts the most about this situation is that Mr. Imus knows not one of us personally."
"I would like to speak to him personally and ... ask him, after you've met me personally, do you still feel in this category that I'm still a 'ho' as a woman and as a black, African-American woman at that?" said Kia Vaughn, a sophomore center. "I achieve a lot, and unless they have given this name of 'ho' a new definition, then that is not what I am."
"Before you are valedictorians of their class, future doctors, musical prodigies, and yes, even Girl Scouts," (Rutgers coach C. Vivian Stringer) said. "They are young ladies of class, distinction, they are articulate, they are brilliant, they are gifted. They are God's representatives in every sense of the word."
And that's what guys like Imus and my dad miss. They think words are just words. But as any victim of psychological abuse will tell you, words can hurt worse than fists.
If Imus proves to be incapable of internalising the pain his remarks caused, then perhaps it's time for him to quietly shuffle off into retirement with what's left of his dignity.
P.S.: Taylor Marsh wrote a very insightful blog entry about this kerfluffle. I highly recommend it.